


When I Do

by Isseiro (orphan_account), short_angry_midget



Category: Shingeki no Kyojin | Attack on Titan
Genre: Also possibly smut in later chapters, Alternate Universe - High School, Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, But guys come on, Eren Is a Little Shit, Fluff, Jean is a twat, Jean keeps saying 'No Homo', Multi, Online Dating, Other Additional Tags to Be Added, Two people tagging at the same time is really fucking hard, We all know thats not true, and is set in america..., depends on how dirty im feeling, ha accuracy be on fleek im so sorry, hey while im here might as well give Rupaul a shoutout, ive got a 99 kinks and jesus bought a casserole is a tag what, one day i'll write smut and you will all love it, this was written by an asian and a candian so dont have high expectations, we live in the uk
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2015-06-28
Updated: 2015-07-01
Packaged: 2018-04-05 19:20:38
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 4
Words: 3,134
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4191855
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/orphan_account/pseuds/Isseiro, https://archiveofourown.org/users/short_angry_midget/pseuds/short_angry_midget
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>The high school of Trost sets up SexualityConnect.com, where the gay pupils that attend  can connect and talk anonymously. But when popular and sporty Eren Jeager begins to fall for a boy he doesnt know the identity of, how can he protect himself and 'TheCorporal' from broken hearts?</p><p>Or the one where Eren has way too many hormones, and Levi doesn't know what emojis are.</p><p>(DISCONTINUED)</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Straight People Should Have To Come Out Too

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This chapter is by Ifitsgayitsgood  
> Kudos and constructive criticism appreciated!!  
> I really like Rupaul

**Loading...**

 

**Loading...**

 

 **Hello, _TitanRoar,_ and welcome to SexualityConnect** **.Trost.us! Would you like to find a match?**

**-Yes**

 

**Searching...**

 

**Searching...**

 

**You have been connected with _TheCorporal_. Would you like to start a chat?**

 

**-Yes**

 

**[ _TheCorporal_ has accepted your invitation]**

 

**You have been engaged in chat mode! Start typing to say hello!**

 

You: Hello!

         Hi

         Anybody there????!!!????

 

TheCorporal: Oi brat be patient

                    God I hope your not this clingy all the time

 

You: hello!!!

        Hey :( Meanie

        Sup?

 

TheCorporal: What is that sign?

                    The :( sign

                    Is it some slang?

 

You: Did u rly just ask me what :( was???

       OMG r u a teacher?

       Did I get connected with a teacher???

       OMG isnt that not allowed???

 

TheCorporal: look brat I'm sorry if I'm not stupid enough to do weird fucking bracket signs and not be bothered to write out whole words but I'm not a fucking teacher.

                    Now what is :(

 

You: Jeez who pissed in ur coffee today

 

TheCorporal: *Your

 

You: oh so ur the fuckin grammer police now?

 

TheCorporal: *You're *fucking *grammar

 

You: Look, do u wanna know what :( is or not

 

TheCorporal: fine

 

You: it's frowny face

       The : are the eyes and the ( is the sad mouth

 

TheCorporal: oh

                    :( :( :( :( :( :( :( :(

                    :) :3 :0 :* :S

 

You: Jeez calm down

       It's not that exciting

 

TheCorporal: oh shut it brat

                   Hey, the bell rang. 

                   Not really that nice talking to you to be honest

                   See ya round brat

 

You: Wait!

                     [You are typing]

 

                     [You are typing]

  

                     [You are typing]

 

You: Could i save ur username? So we can talk later

        If u want

        I dont really mind

        I just thought maybe

 

TheCorporal: sure

                   Knock yourself out

                   Just dont be annoying

                   Dont really know why you would want to though im kind of an asshole

 

You: yeah i figured

        See u later?

        :)

 

TheCorporal: whatever

                          [TheCorporal is typing]

 

                          [TheCorporal is typing]

 

TheCorporal: :)

 

                          [You are typing]

 

                          [TheCorporal has disconnected]

 

**Are you sure you would like to disconnect?**

**-Yes**

 

                           [You have disconnected]

       

 

Eren groaned, stuffing his phone back into his pocket (yeah, they were meant to be kept in the lockers during the day time, but hey, he had a reputation to uphold here). Stupid sassy gay guy, with his stupid grammar-policey-ness, and his stupid emoji obsession Eren feared he had accidentally started. God, why did he ask for his username? It was bad enough him- him, jock, popular, fucking sexy if he did say so himself- was gay, let alone on a gay website, let alone making gay friends! (Although he had always wanted one- he needed somebody to make gay puns to)

God. Being gay was fucking intense.

He swiped at his face with his sleeve, hoping he could some how wipe away the blush coating it. (Why the fuck was he blushing anyway?? He was cool, sassy, confident Eren Jeager. He didnt blush.) And slammed his locker closed. 

 

Great. He was going to be late for history.

 

This day just couldnt get any worse, could it?

 

~

 

The rest of the morning went by without any major troubles, and by lunchtime Eren had mostly forgotten about the grammar-loving mystery boy. He sat where he normally did; what was known as the 'cool table' (honestly he had no idea why people called it that- I mean, for Gods sake,  _Jean_ sat there) The chatter was normal, boring, nothing that intrested him, until something Jean said something that irked him.

"Have you guys heard about that new faggot website??" It was said leisurely, probably not thought through, probably because there was nothing else he could think to say. The others didn't even take it seriously, knowing Jean was an asshole who spoke before he thought.

But Eren did.

His head snapped up, chartreuse eyes glinting venemously. "What did you say?"

The sentence was spat from his lips like poison, and the table fell silent. The last time Eren looked this mad was when Connie accidentally insulted Rupaul.

Jean forced a laugh, surprised. "What?"

"I said what did you say, Kirschtein?"

Hazel eyes flicked worriedly to the side, and the rest of the room, as if noticing something was off, lapsed into silence too. They were all watching, waiting, the suffocating atmosphere swelling to all corners of the room.

Maybe, if less people were watching, Jean would of backed down. But they were both too arrogant for there own good.

Jean slammed his hands onto the table, knocking over his plate (followed by Sasha scrambling to get the food that had fallen). 

"I said, have you checked out that faggot website. Fuck, Jaeger, are you deaf as well as gay?"

"Im not fucking gay, hypocrite!"

(If anyone noticed the blush blossoming on both 'definitely straight' boys, they said nothing)

Jean stuffed his fingers in his ears. "LA, LA, LA! I CANT HEAR YOUUUUU!!"

"YOU'RE SO IMMATURE!"

"WHOSE THE HYPOCRITE NOW, HUH? FAGGOT!"

The argument might of gone on longer, but Eren was sick of Jeans stupid face and the rest of their fucking year gaping at him, and the word 'faggot'- god, why is being gay an insult? Why isnt 'straighty' an insult? Why was heterosexual the default sexuality?

That was what he was thinking when he punched Jean in the face. Thats what he was thinking when the lunch ladies dragged him away, when they stuffed him in Principal Pixis' waiting room, when he was told he was suspended, when they called up his father. 

He was so sick of this. He knew, when he got back to school, they would treat him like a hero. Super strong, super tough, super buff, defender of faith Eren Jaeger. For breaking a guys nose (Even if he was an Asshole). Justice, right?

Popularity tired him.

 

If he really was the defender of faith people said him to be, the hero, the cool guy, the one everyone wanted know, then he would come out. And not run, never run again.

But he wasnt a fucking hero.

 

Because, in the end, all he could do was text TheCorporal

 

 

You: Why is everything so hard?

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Jean seems like a dick, but he's a massive softie inside, trust me.He's not a homophobe in this fic, its jeanmarco cmon people
> 
> (Actually not sure if Sayu's agreed to that hehe.... ill just be quietly in the corner with my feels)
> 
> Kudos, constructive criticism appreciated.
> 
> By ifitsgayitsgood, keep it foxy xx
> 
>  
> 
>  
> 
> *ahem*  
> JEAN WILL BE COOL DW I LOVE HIM AND JEANMARCO


	2. When Senpai Doesn't Notice You

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Pixis is crazy and Eren is clingy (and also can't type)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Written by Short_Angry_Midget
> 
> Hope you enjoy ~

 

****

  Eren stared at his phone for a solid five minutes waiting for a reply. He probably should have realized that “TheCorporal”, whoever he was, probably had a life outside of SexualityConnect.Trost.us .  

Five minutes.

Ten minutes.

 

Fifteen minutes.

**You: Hey Corporal**

**You: Helllo?**

**You: HEEeeLLllooooOO??/**

**You: NOTIC ME SENPAI**

“Eren? Dot Pixis will see you now,” the green-eyed youth was thrown back into awareness at the sudden noise, and was disappointed that there was still not one notification from TheCorporal, despite his desperate attempts at being noticed. (Was this being clingy? He hoped not).

The teen followed Pixis into his office and sat down warily on the chair opposite his desk. The principal watched Eren with beady eyes, whilst taking a giant mouthful of the water in his flask (which probably wasn’t even water and Eren was willing to bet it was vodka or at least some kind of strong alcohol)

“So tell me,” the eccentric egg-headed man began, “Why did you get into a fight with Kirschtein?”

Eren scowled. “He started it.”

“That didn’t answer my question.”

“...Pixis, with all respect, I think that’s a rather pointless question. I’m sure you already know what happened. You wouldn’t be, well, _you_ if you didn’t.”

Pixis grinned at that, shiny bald head bobbing up and down in agreement, “You flatter me, Jaeger. I do believe it’s to do with the new site that I set up under the school’s domain… Sexuality Connect, was it not?”

Eren nodded slightly to that, averting his gaze from the now intrigued person seated in front of him.

 

“Then I can be certain that you have used it - and by it I mean the site -then, if you were on the defensive! So tell me, how did you find it? Actually, I have a form somewhere in my desk that I would appreciate you filling out. I want feedback from the people who have used the site! Hang on one second…”

Eren just gawked at the man, who seemed not to mind about the fight but more for his own gay dating site, and slowly started to stand up. Seeing that Pixis was uncaring towards the reason he was in the office and was currently preoccupied with getting forms, the golden eyed boy backed out of the room. (Little did he know that Pixis was actually observing Eren like a hawk out of the corner of his eye, and later laughed at his not-so-stealthy attempt at escaping his office)

Suddenly, he felt a vibration against his leg, and pulled his phone out to find a message from TheCorporal.

**TheCorporal is typing..**

**TheCoporal is typing..**

**TheCorporal: Senpai will never notice you, brat.**

  


 

 

Eren had no more classes for the rest of the day, and therefore found himself wondering around school campus. He would of gone home, but was unable to, as Mikasa normally let him take her car,but she had the fucking keys. Reclining back on a random bench that was in the middle of the school grounds,  he dug his phone out of his back pocket yet again to kill some more time.

**Hello, TitanRoar, and welcome to SexualityConnect**. **Trost.us! Would you like to find a match?**

He was wasting far too much of his life on this thing, wasn’t he.

**-Yes**

**Searching...**

**Searching...**

He quickly scanned the grounds to make sure there were no people to witness his inner gayness, before deeming the coast clear.

**You have been connected with No6. Would you like to start a chat?**

**-Yes**

**[No6 has accepted your invitation]**

**You have been engaged in chat mode! Start typing to say hello!**

You: hi

      [No6 is typing]

No6: I feel like I’m on a gay version of omegle

You: you make it sound like a bad thing

No6: That’s because it is

You: omf homophobic much

       wait then why tf are u even on a gay website then anyways

       are you actually gay but in the closet ?

       dont worry

       its fun out here. we have rainbows cookies and hot guys with abs

No6: I’m not fucking gay

       I just wanted to see what kind of shit stains would gather on this faggot site

You:  u sounded so much like jean there lol

No6: what

You: jean

       jean kirstein?

       horse faced douchebag?

       has a face only a mother could luv

       [No6 is typing]

No6: What the hell was that for ?

You: Why are youu taking offense

       unless

       wait

       hOLY SHiT IS THIS YOU JEaNBO?

No6: OMF THIs iS EreN ISN'T IT I TOLD YOU NOT TO CALL ME THAT

       AND MY FACE IS PERFECTKY NORMAL, THANK YOU

You: so let me ask you a thing...

No6: What the hell do you want with me, Jaeger

       [You are typing]

You: How long have you known you were gay?

;)

        [No6 is typing]

        [No6 is typing]

**  
**

**[No6 has disconnected]**

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello! All constructive criticism, feedback etc is much appreciated!  
> I have recently re-discovered that I really do not know how to write and that is almost saddening.
> 
> You should all know that I feed off of kudos, so don't let me starve >:D
> 
>  
> 
> Dedicated to my Busty McMuffin, I'm sorry that I ruined your beautiful chapter one. Hopefully, you can still carry on from this.


	3. And Then it all Came Crashing Down

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Levi is unhelpful and Jean is in denial.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> By IfItsGayItsGood
> 
> enjoy ! 
> 
> Fun Fact: Flamingo's can have orgasms that last up to thIRTY MINUTES

  **  
**

It wasn't until he was home, tucked up in bed, just about to drop off, when he realised the full extent of what he had done.

Jean was gay.

 

Jean knew he was gay.

 

Part of him wondered briefly if he could finally have that gay friend he'd always dreamt of. But then he remembered-

"I said, have you checked out that new faggot website! God, Jaeger, are you deaf as well as gay?"

Oh. Ohhhhh. He got it know, partly because he had been in that same position, that same, scared place where you didn't know who you were, and all you could do was pretend to be the same as everyone else, the twisted, modern view of what is 'normal', and what is 'wrong'.

Jean was scared of his reality, and what people would think.

Quickly, he pulled his phone out from under his pillow (He always kept it within a two-meter radius of his heart), flipped to Jeans contact, and hurriedly typed out a message.

hey horsey I know youre gay and that's okay cos I am too hip hip hooray

 

his finger hovered over the 'send' button, before something made him pause.

He exited the application, clicking on that familiar 'Sexuality Connect' logo (two blue blobs bearing a worrisome resemblance to dicks. Pixis really was insane.)

**Send a message to TheCorporal?**

**-Yes**

**You have been connected! Start typing to say hello!**

You: Hey um my best friend who I thought was a homophobe turns out to be gay and he knows im gay due to an awkward situation and can you help me talk to him cos you have like an aura of experience around you.

he bit his lip, staring at the screen, and was surprised when a reply popped up nearly straight after.

TheCorporal: Brat how the fuck would I know.

You: You seem so old and smart idk

TheCorporal: I go to the same high school as you, how old do you think I am.

                Also what does idk mean?

You: ....Nevermind

   just help I tried texting him but I couldn't think of anything to say

TheCorporal: What did you have so far?

You: Um

   a poem about being gay and how its okay and hip hip hooray

TheCorporal: Are you fucking kidding me

                That is the worst fucking idea

                    That poem has not structure have you ever been to an English lesson in your life

                God at least do a limerick

You: wat

TheCorporal: What

You: wat

TheCorporal: What

You: should I just tell him im here for him?

TheCorporal: ...

               Probably yeah

               If I were him, I would appreciate that.

You: Thank god youre not him Jeans a dick

TheCorporal: Jean?

               Jean Kirschtein?

You: Shit

TheCorporal: You know him?

                The guy that self-obsessed twat punched today

You: hold on what

   what self obsessed twat

   what

TheCorporal: Eren Jaeger I think?

                    The one the whole school loves for some reason

You: You don't like him?

TheCorporal: Hate him.

                    Why, you're not one of his pathetic followers, are you?

 

The words stung him deeply, and he was surprised to feel the familiar swell of tears behind his eyes. Fuck, was he crying? Why did he care so much about what this stupid guy though, anyway?

 

You: um, I

   Nah, nah. Don't really know him that well.

       so um

   yeah

TheCorporal: good

                 If you liked him, I would of disconnected.

                 because I really, really hate that brat. And you seem okay.

                 Which I think is the highest compliment I have ever given.

 

He stared at the screen for at least five minutes. He never normally cared about being hated before, but he could feel the heavy warmth of tears dripping down his cheeks.

 

You: Um thanks

   Well I have to go

TheCorporal: Huh?

You: Sweet dreams

             [TheCorporal is typing]

**Are you sure you would like to disconnect?**

**-Yes**

**You have been disconnected.**

He sat alone in the darkness of his bedroom for a while, staring blankly at his ceiling. Finally, he sprung out of bed, grabbed a piece of paper, and, by the metallic light of his phone, he scribbled out a list in a slanted scrawl.

Things I Know About TheCorporal

-He texts like my Grandpa

-He likes poetry and grammar (An English nerd?)

\- he calls me brat a lot

\- he swears a lot

-He likes the real me

-He hates the version of me I show to people

-I am pretty sure I am completely addicted to him.

 

He folded up the list, satisfied, and slipped it inside his blazer pocket.

He fell asleep like that, cross-legged, leaning against his bed, phone cradled in his hands, his last conversation with 'TheCorporal' still glaring on the screen.

 

When he woke up the next morning, Mikasa was staring deeply into his eyes.

"Aargh!" he yelled, jerking backwards. "Mika, I thought we agreed you wouldn't do that anymore?"

The grey-eyed girl ignored him, instead focusing on his naked body (It was freaking hot and he decided to skinny-sleep for a while)

"Eren," she said. "Why are you naked and holding your phone?"

SHIT SHIT SHIT FUCKING WEATHER

"Um," he glanced down at himself. "I was...sexting my girlfriend?"

She blinked owlishly at him. "You fell asleep whilst sexting your girlfriend?"

"Uh, yes?" he tried.

The girl nodded knowingly at him, adjusting her scarf. "Mmm. Dump her, then. She's obviously not sexually pleasing enough to build a long-time relationship with if you fall asleep during sexting." She cocked her head, considering. "Strange. I didn't notice you had a girlfriend. I need to practice observing your emotions more."

...

She stood and stalked out of the room, the tail of her scarf swinging behind her. "Oh, and Eren?" she called behind her. "Hurry and get dressed, or we'll be late. And in the future, try to not masturbate on a school night."

Right. Well, that went well.

 

First period was English, one of his worst subjects. He sat next to Levi, a short, angry introvert he never really talked to, (or anyone, for that matter. Only an overexcited person with a ponytail, and a man whose face seemed to be completely enveloped by his eyebrows)

The teacher was a kind, mild woman called Petra, the 'I-am-not-your-teacher-I'm-your-friend-call-me-by-my-first-name' kind of teacher, and everyone loved her.

"Right," she announced, once the class had settled down "We're doing partner work today, so pair up."

Everyone bustled around, picking partners and clamouring to be with him. He was just about to pair with Connie, when he noticed Levi sitting alone out of the corner of his eye, staring bitterly at the table. A surge of pity engulfed him, and he shyly approached the silver-eyed boy.

Levi noticed him nearing closer though, and his head snapped up. "What do you want, brat?"

He jerked back, surprised. "Um. I was wondering if, yknow..." he trailed off.

Levi blinked. "What do I know?"

"Um." he had never got this reaction before. "Wanna... like, pair up?"

Levi spluttered a laugh. "Are you serious? I'd rather be fucked sideways with a rusted rake then be partners with a self-centred twat like you."

"What?" the words hurt, but he slipped back into his popular persona anyway. "Your loss, dude. Whatever."

He heard Levi snort as he turned away, but ignored it. The words he said- Self-centred twat- niggled at the back of his mind. He was sure he had heard that phrase before. Where was it? God, if he could just remember-

 

Whatever. He was too hungry for that shit.

 

God. Some people are dicks, he thought, as he glanced back at Levi's face.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> ugh its so hot and i am so stressed IM MEANT TO BE CANADIAN WHY CANT I TAKE THIS HEAT UGHGHGHHGH
> 
> Basically I am REALLY stressed :/ I tried not to let it show in my writing but it got a little angsty up in there and everythings so STICKY AND SWEATY AND GROSS
> 
> Comment! Kudo! Bookmark! It makes me happy. I swear to God I legit stalk this fic while im at school, and update Sayu about all our stats and stuff.
> 
> if you find anything offensive please please pleaseeee tell us so we can change it!!
> 
> -IfItsGayItsGood


	4. Chapter 4

Hey!! So we arent dead!

 

We've just kinda got into other fandoms and been busy, plus Sayu is a lazy dick. But she says she will try to update during the easter holidays, so if you still havent lost interest in this then look out for an update in the next two weeks!

 

This chapter will be deleted when the next is posted.


End file.
